Children have two parents. When the parents decide they don't get along, the other parent (hopefully) doesn't disappear. He or she continues to influence the children for better or worse. I don't believe in using the internet to air griefs. I think the internet is a tool to share experiences and give and receive information for decision making.
Choose your partner carefully. I was lucky in that my exhusband supported my parenting. He supported breastfeeding, cloth diaper, my staying home. This support was paramount to the success of my children's early years. Unfortunately, we differ in values. Last night, after my daughter made a filthy comment on facebook , that her father had told her, regarding someone she was angry with, I was rudely reminded of this. I can't give her a new parent. She loves her father and he loves her. I can't force him to use positive words. I can't force my worldview on him or her. I can only choose to influence with my methods.
Choose your partner carefully. My current partner uses positive words. He believes in innocence and preserving innocence in childhood. On the other hand, he thinks breastfeeding past a year is weird and cloth diapers are gross. He would like me to stay home (at least in words), but I make more money. I prefer this case. If I buy and wash the cloth diapers, he will use them. If he really wants paper (and I do understand the attraction; they don't leak, they are easy and trim), he can buy it. I will breastfeed past a year. I am the mom, I have the breasts. But I know he won't say crude, shocking comments to my children which ultimately undermine the sexual roles that women play, and make them seem degrading.
Think. Words have immense power over the world. Use them carefully. And again, choose the parent of your children carefully.
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