It's late, and I am sniffling. I was reading over Roscommon Acres, and the days and weeks following the loss of the author's son. What talent and grace she possesses.
Today was another day. A bit frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I am spinning my wheels at work and accomplishing nothing. Sometimes I don't even know what is expected of me. I can't go into detail due to privacy issues, but I can so, special education can be so frustrating.
As I was walking out, a coworker told me she put in her resignation to stay home after this year. I made a crack about being jealous, but honestly, I am not. I am DELIGHTED for her. I don't think she will ever regret this decision to enjoy her little ones' early years.
But since I am such a jealous little creature, I wondered why don't I feel jealous now?
Am I finally reaching maturity?
Maybe I know that I have made the decision to work myself, regardless of what I say I can and can't do. I COULD get food stamps. I COULD take the 13 or 14 thousand in retirement out. Sure I would have to start over when I got rehired. If I COULD get rehired in my advanced age:o). But....I don't know if that is the right choice.
But feeling like I have a choice, erases the jealousy. And it feels very, very nice to be me.
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