Yes, I am off of work again. This time has led me to realize how much Liam needs me at home. It isn't that Karl doesn't love him, it's just that Karl is a man. He doesn't do all those little teachy things moms do. Half the time, when Karl is sleeping, he doesn't even hear Liam crying three feet away.
I feel torn. For all my wanting to be home, even if we figured out a way financially, I worry about staying home. I worry about getting hired somewhere when I am ready to work again. I also worry A LOT about disappearing. I already feel like I am on the very fringe of life. I usually like that, but without work, I worry that I will completely disappear. I have been a stay-at-home mom before. I know how easy it is to get lost and become a mommy machine that noone sees. And Karl doesn't bring people home either. He says most of the guys at work use drugs (he works in the restaurant industry). It would be a lonely life.
Eh well. I believe in signs, so we'll see what comes of it.
On the brighter side, Tierney gets her braces off at the next visit, and the ortho said Taryn is ready for braces. Exciting! I can't wait to throw another six grand at that! A beautiful smile is worth it, however.
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